What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Randomize
