What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
You've changed since you got that strap on
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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