Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
