I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
