There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Randomize
