i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
