He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize