At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
