feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
zippers are such a cool invention
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
