i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
