I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
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I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
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If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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