I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
