Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
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