So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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