I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
