I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
