Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Sorry my hands just texted you
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
