you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Randomize
