somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
He? As in you personified your dick?
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
