Three words: puerto rican gang bang
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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