You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
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I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
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Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
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