Me. At least after what I've been through.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
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