Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
