yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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