I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
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