Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
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then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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