what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
