I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize
