It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
