i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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