what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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