therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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