nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
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