shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
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All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
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He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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