Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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