Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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