mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
