Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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