saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
