Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Dicks are not precious.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
