I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
