yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Enjoy the penises
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
