ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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