I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
