just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
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