i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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