I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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