Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
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he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
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i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
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