Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
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