hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
