Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Farmville is her only friend.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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