I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
