Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
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Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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