Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Randomize
