im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
