Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize