can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
