she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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