do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
