So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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