Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(636): View more from Missouri

Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.

Fav 37 3160 860
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(314): View more from Missouri

Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again

Fav 19 5937 1616
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(301): View more from Maryland

I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.

(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.

Fav 12 4045 1997
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(916): View more from California

You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.

Fav 6 4257 1497
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(559): View more from California

Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.

Fav 9 2610 1355
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(940): View more from Texas

This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing

Fav 9 2699 1272
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today

Fav 5 1088 759
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(425): View more from Washington

I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.

Fav 5 842 1310
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(707): View more from California

I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.

Fav 2 295 102
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