how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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