Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
