I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
